No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
