I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
