never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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