we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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