you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
