Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
