based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
