look no pants
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
