I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
