no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's always time for handjobs
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
