So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Holy shit dude........stairs
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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