sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
