K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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