I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
