I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize