If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
