We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize