You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
