I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
did you just send me my own nude
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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