oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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