For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
