god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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