I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
