For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize