We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
