Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have demons in me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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