Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
