how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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