you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Randomize
