I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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