That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
