you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
