i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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