just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
