I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
