I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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