if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
