Your face is a jimmy john
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
