I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
