Got a toothbrush?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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