I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
