i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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