then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Boobs speak an international language.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize