Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize