You work out of a Hotel?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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