I hope mine doesn't look like that
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
