what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
