Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
