is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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