Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
