Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
True college students do jello shots in the library
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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