Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
