do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
