we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
