dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
someone owes me an orgasm
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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