I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
