you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
