my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
