STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
