yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
