the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
