nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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